I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
