So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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