You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize