Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is it because I queefed?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
