You smell like stripper and shame
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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