Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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