If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
