VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she woke up with a sticky ear
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
