Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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