i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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