Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
