I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
