no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
