Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
