my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
