You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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