i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize
