dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
