honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize