yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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