but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
im holly from the hills drunk
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
