Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
