I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
