I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
