so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
