For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
