i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
