we're chasing vodka with high fives
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
