We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
