Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
