That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize