R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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