guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
are you so shy because you have an std?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
