Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
