we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
