I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize