His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
