I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize