all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
