i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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