Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
