1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
