I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
