i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
What a dumb baby whore.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
