My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
