weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
