at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
