I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
