So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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