I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
