Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
