I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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