note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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