my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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