Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
