Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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