that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
