its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
