physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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