She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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