first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just want nice things and good sex
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
