Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
