And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
