God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Come see our sink grown plant.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
