so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
