I wish i was in the wii world.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
