The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
