I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
